Dysfunction exists in every office – more in some, less in others. Most of the time the level of dysfunction is manageable. In some rare cases, however, the level of dysfunction is exorbitant and requires some form of therapy.
Ours started innocently enough with just two of us commiserating about office injustices over beer at the local bar after work. Because of the workplace dynamic, a revolving door had always plagued our company. Then the recession hit, and a long string of “layoffs” ensued, one person at a time, like a slow-leaking faucet.
As a result, the therapy group expanded, and today it includes alumni as well as alumni wannabes, who serve two important functions for us alumni. First, they keep us fresh on new and developing stories at the office. Second, they provide us virgin ears for our already told and retold stories. We meet about once a quarter, usually at someone’s house, for dinner and drinks. I find the experience extremely cathartic, particularly when I get to tell my “latex gloves” story, which goes like this:
“So, Paul and I are working on a sourcing project involving latex gloves. Our boss, Bill, calls us into the conference room to review the account. When we enter the room, Bill’s already there, assuming his typical “I Am King” position – reclined way back in the chair, hands clasped behind his head, feet up on the table. I notice a box of latex gloves at the far corner of the conference table and remark, “Oh, that’s the type of latex gloves we’re sourcing.” Bill says, “Don’t touch them, they’re NOT YOURS!” I am dumbfounded, flustered, and speechless. How do I respond? Thirty seconds later, Bill reaches over to the box, takes out a latex glove and puts it on one hand, then takes out another and puts it on the other hand. He then scrupulously inspects his hands and gloves, as if he were preparing to perform surgery.
This display of arrogance was an everyday occurrence at the office. I eagerly await our next group therapy meeting, where, with each telling of my tale, I feel the incremental healing of the emotional scars left by the incident…
